Sunday, October 10, 2010

Special Day

Today she was a Mother, a Grandmother, a Great-grandmother, a Mother-in-law, and a Grandmother-in-law. Today she was the kind, gentle person I have always remembered her to be even though her body and mind are failing her beautiful spirit.

It's been too long since I have made the effort to see my Grandma Hazel. In fact since she has been in her assisted living center I have not see her and that may be going on a year now. Since I have been living in Oregon I can only recall seeing her two or three times. It's pathetic, I know. She has been such a wonderful grandma and a shining example to me and yet I can't muster the time to visit her.

Well things are going to change. But let me explain my hesitancy to visit.

Grandma Hazel now has dementia. It's not the worst case you've ever seen but with her failing hearing she rarely communicates and sometime I wonder if she even knows what's going on. For example, a few years ago we decided to put on a Thanksgiving dinner for her in her own house (this was before she was placed in the assisted living center) because it was tradition to go to her house growing up and eat the most fabulous Thanksgiving dinner my taste buds had ever had the opportunity to taste (she was a phenomenal cook). While we were sitting around the dinner table enjoying our feast the phone rang. It was my uncle, calling to wish his mother a happy Thanksgiving. My Grandma had no idea what was going on and couldn't hear who was on the phone while she held it to her ear though everyone around the table could hear, plain as day, my uncle yelling on the other end of the line. It was sad, but we all laughed at it to ease the pain.

Since that time it has slowly gotten worse and it saddens me to see her in that condition. My memories or her consist of getting dropped off for a night or two while my parents went off to Sun River with close friends. The days were spent playing card games and her favorite game called Ten thousand around the dinning room table. At night I remember her moving the table out of that way so us kids could sleep in our sleeping bags on the floor (she only had a small two bedroom house so the dinning room is where we slept). In the morning we could always count on a breakfast of comfort food only grandma's know how to cook up. My favorite was waffles with butter and syrup and OJ. Still to this day I think her waffles are the best I've ever had.

She was a simple women. She lived in a simple house with simple furnishings and had a simple wardrobe and drove a simple car. But nothing about how she treated us grand kids ever felt simple. She always made me feel like I was the most important person around.

I mentioned how amazing of a cook she was. Here's a little anecdote of how much my sister and I loved her cooking. The middle sister in my family was home visiting from BYU and knew she should stop by Grandma's and visit with her before she returned to school. While she was determining when to swing by we got the idea to go by during dinner time so we could score some of Grandma's fine cooking. We did so and upon arrival we scoped out what looked like fried chicken breast with some type of pasta and marinara. We had a quick glance at one another and both our faces indicated we had hit the jackpot. After seeing us, Grandma promptly got us some table settings and invited us to have dinner. My mouth and stomach were already having a party at the thought of have a meal at grandma's. However, the party soon ended when the thought fried chicken was actually fried egg plant. I hate egg plant! For someone else it probably would have been the best egg plant ever knowing my Grandma had made it but for me, I can't stand it. It's actually one of the few things I wont eat. So getting good food at Grandma's backfired. Serves us right for trying to take advantage of her cooking, I guess.

I feel horrible that after being treated so kindly and blessed by her my whole life I have been so selfish and not been to visit her very much. Today during our visit we went with my parents and we brought Camo along to meet his Great grandma. Normally she just sits there and doesn't talk much but as soon as she saw Camo it was like a switch got turned on. She smiled and reached out her hands to hold him. It was like she had known it was her great grandson even without previously meeting him. She held him and audibly spoke to him. In fact she said, "Wow, he's a chunk, isn't he?" It was adorable and heart warming to see her light up so much versus sitting there staring into space. It was a moment I wont forget. It was the moment I needed to see that she is the same Grandma Hazel as she has always been over these many year. I now know that I need to pay her visits more often as to not let her last days go by without sharing my love to her.

I love you Grandmas, I hope you know that.


The first thing she did when she got a hold of Camo was kiss him


Four generations

2 comments:

M said...

I was just thinking about grandma last night and thinking it has been awhile since I've seen her. That picture of her and Camo is priceless. Wow! I want one just like that of her with my kids! It brought tears to my eyes to see her so happy with him.

I had never heard that eggplant story. That's hilarious! Did M like it? I love eggplant, so I'm sure I would have.

Myndi said...

It was my first time eating eggplant and I thought it was okay but I am sure if I ate it now I would have loved it.

When Dad Skyped me from the assisted living home a couple of weeks ago she pushed the computer away when it was me on the screen and then when Hip came into the picture she became so excited and was completely fascinated by him. He sang, "Popcorn Popping On The Apricot Tree" for her. And later when when hung up he said he wanted to call her again later to sing her another song.

This was a beautiful essay/tribute. Thanks for writing it.