Are you Serious?

I have got to have the worst luck when it comes to getting the cars registered/re-registered in the State of Oregon, and it all has to do with my bad luck at the DEQ. I'm not sure if all states have a DEQ so I'll explain what it is. DEQ stands for the Department of Environmental Quality. The purpose is to make sure your car is running in such a way that it falls under their standard and has a minimal effect on the environment. Basically, it checks to make sure your car does not pollute too much.

When T and I first moved here we had to register the Ford in Oregon and to do so it has to pass the DEQ tests first. A day or so before I went to the DEQ I noticed the "check engine" light had come on. I didn't really think anything of it (mainly because I didn't know what it meant), so I took it to the DEQ and, of course, it failed. The guy, kindly pointed out that the "check engine" light was on and hinted that I was an idiot if I thought it would still pass with the light on. I really had no idea what the big deal was until I got home and read the car's owners manual. Apparently, the "check engine" light is an indicator that the emissions in the car are too high. (Should have read that before I went and saved myself the awkward moment with the DEQ attendant.) At that point I was pretty annoyed because waiting in line at the DEQ is no short event. It always seems to take forever; and on top of that, I would have to get some one to fix the car so it would pass DEQ. How much was that going to cost?

Plan A: Pay out the butt to get the car fixed and get it passed at the DEQ so I could register it.

No thanks!

Plan B: Take the car to an auto store and get a diagnostic tool, plug it into the car, and erase from the cars computer system whatever it was making the "check engine" light come on.

Success!

Second part of Plan B: Take car, now with the light off, back to DEQ and see if it will pass. Good plan right?

Failed! As I was pulling into the DEQ the light came back on. I dropped a few expletives and turned the car around not allowing the embarrassment of going though the DEQ with the "check engine" light on, again...I've learned not to do that again.

Plan C: Wait and see if the light ever turns off and get that beast into the DEQ ASAP.

Success! About two months down the road T tells me one day, "Did you notice the 'check engine' light went off in the car?"

"What? When did that happen?" I didn't even wait for a reply before I was in the car on my way to the DEQ. Oh yeah, it passed...with flying colors.

So, that's just the first bad luck story, trying to get the Ford through DEQ. That was all around Christmas time. Just recently I got the form in the mail letting me know it was time to re-register the Honda. I was sure this one was going to go much smoother because I check every possible problem and found nothing before I took it in.

The morning of I went to the bank because the DEQ only accepts cash these days. Then I headed to the DEQ. Of course, I waited in line. As I neared the front of the line I notice an oil smell but figured it was the big truck directly in front of me. And then I noticed the oil light flashing on my dash. My first thought, "Are you Serious?" Because I was already in line I might as well finish the test; if you don't pass you don't have to pay, so what the heck. I pulled into my assigned bay and got out of the car (a typical procedure so the attendant can look around the car without you in the way). I could still smell the oil but I acted like nothing was wrong so I didn't give anything away.

The attendant went through the test and somehow the thing passed. When it was over I was out of there. On my way home the light was flashing like crazy and I knew something was wrong. I pulled over in an LDS church parking lot and referred to my Honda's owners manual (this seems familiar). This indicator light means the oil pressure in the car is low. If the oil pressure is low that usually means the oil is low. Funny thing is, I just had the oil changed 3 days before. I finally got out of the car and looked under it. Yep, a big 'ol puddle was forming.

Let me clue you in on how ironic this situation is. Here I am going through the Department of Environmental Quality and my car just happens to spring a oil leak...and a big one for that matter. As in, big enough to drain 4 quarts of oil in a matter of a few minutes. And this had to happen while at the DEQ. So, the place that is supposed to stop all pollution against the environment from automobiles is totally covered by the oil from my Honda. Luckily I got out of there before I was busted. I guess that's pay back for not passing the Ford the first time a few months ago.

Just so you know, the Honda broke a pretty important seal on the side of the engine and it had to go into the shop. It's back now and driving as good as ever and without any other pollution to the environment. Sorry DEQ.

Oh, and PS-the "check engine" light has yet to come back on in the Ford...weird!